{"id":7326,"date":"2017-06-22T13:51:11","date_gmt":"2017-06-22T13:51:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/site\/?page_id=7326"},"modified":"2017-06-22T13:57:04","modified_gmt":"2017-06-22T13:57:04","slug":"internet-bumper-stickers-volume-1","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/home-3\/quote-corner\/internet-bumper-stickers\/internet-bumper-stickers-volume-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Internet Bumper Stickers Volume 1"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I am NOT a NUMBER! I am a DEMOGRAPHIC!<\/p>\n

Welease Bwian!<\/p>\n

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.<\/p>\n

\"Bother,\" said Pooh, as Cthulu rose up and ate him.<\/p>\n

Poor eyes limit your sight, poor vision limits your deeds.<\/p>\n

I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.<\/p>\n

Anything that kills you makes you...well, dead.<\/p>\n

Guillotine operator wanted. Chance to get ahead.<\/p>\n

\"The food here is terrible.\" \"And such small portions, too!\"<\/p>\n

Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.<\/p>\n

Compost! A rind is a terrible thing to waste!<\/p>\n

Psychiatry - the care of the id by the odd.<\/p>\n

Would you like a Yes\/No prompt? (Y\/N)<\/p>\n

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?<\/p>\n

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.<\/p>\n

Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with The Simpsons.<\/p>\n

Drive not ready: A)lign coils, G)o to impulse, C)all Geordie.<\/p>\n

Documentation: the worst part of programming.<\/p>\n

I had my car's alignment checked. It's chaotic evil!<\/p>\n

Difference between genius and stupidity? Genius has no limitations.<\/p>\n

I medicate, therefore who am I?<\/p>\n

Sysoping: more fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.<\/p>\n

I used to live in the real world, but I got evicted.<\/p>\n

Toad: what happens to an illegally parked frog.<\/p>\n

The shortest route between two points is under construction.<\/p>\n

Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here.<\/p>\n

I never knew lasers could be printed.<\/p>\n

I just took an IQ test. The results were negative.<\/p>\n

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.<\/p>\n

Bill Clinton, America's leading truthphobe!<\/p>\n

Excuse me...just what chicken and which road were you talking about?<\/p>\n

Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.<\/p>\n

Enter any 12 digit prime number to continue.<\/p>\n

A KGB keyboard has no key.<\/p>\n

Computers all wait at the same speed.<\/p>\n

Prime directive MY BUTT! Set phasers to PUREE!<\/p>\n

Why is that there are never enough days in a weekend?<\/p>\n

Twisted mind? No...just bent in several strategic places.<\/p>\n

Get thee behind me Satan. I was here first.<\/p>\n

Oh no, Satan...you stay right here where I can see you.<\/p>\n

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.<\/p>\n

Essay: describe the universe in 500 words or less. Give 2 examples.<\/p>\n

DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.<\/p>\n

A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.<\/p>\n

Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight?<\/p>\n

Virginity: a curable congenital defect.<\/p>\n

A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.<\/p>\n

Bad command or filename. Go stand in the corner.<\/p>\n

Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh.<\/p>\n

May your caffeine sources always be fresh.<\/p>\n

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf juyy unir cevinpl.<\/p>\n

Moby Disk: \"Call me E-mail...\"<\/p>\n

This space accidentally left blank.<\/p>\n

He who dies with the most TAGLINES wins!<\/p>\n

Soul of Cassanova. Body of Elmer Fudd.<\/p>\n

My train of thought derailed.<\/p>\n

Nothing screws up a good story like an eyewitness.<\/p>\n

Smokey the Borg: \"Only you can be assimilated...\"<\/p>\n

Help, I've fallen and I can't...Hey, nice carpet!<\/p>\n

Necrophilia means never having to say...well, anything.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tNext Volume >>\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am NOT a NUMBER! I am a DEMOGRAPHIC!Welease Bwian!One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh.”Bother,” said Pooh, as Cthulu rose up and ate him.Poor eyes limit your sight, poor vision limits your deeds.I am in total control, but don’t tell my wife.Anything that kills you makes you…well, dead.Guillotine operator wanted. Chance to get ahead.”The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":6627,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-7326","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7326"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7340,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7326\/revisions\/7340"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}