{"id":6753,"date":"2017-06-18T14:09:51","date_gmt":"2017-06-18T14:09:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/site\/?page_id=6753"},"modified":"2017-06-18T14:10:39","modified_gmt":"2017-06-18T14:10:39","slug":"wise-words-volume-5","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/home-3\/quote-corner\/wise-words\/wise-words-volume-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Wise Words Volume 5"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Life is instinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.<\/p>\n

A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.<\/p>\n

Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.<\/p>\n

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed mostly of lost airline luggage.<\/p>\n

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.<\/p>\n

The reason there are so few women polititians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.<\/p>\n

An honest polititian is one who when he is bought will stay bought.<\/p>\n

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.<\/p>\n

They should stop calling Reagan and Gorbechev the two most powerful men in the world. Between the two of them they couldn't bench press one hundred pounds.<\/p>\n

Gary Hart is just Jerry Brown without the fruit flies.<\/p>\n

Copy from one, it's plagerism; copy from two, it's research.<\/p>\n

Originality is the art of concealing your sources. - Author Unknown<\/p>\n

You know it's not a good wax museum when there are wicks coming out of the people's heads.<\/p>\n

I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart, and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs. - Author Unknown<\/p>\n

The road to Hell is paved with good Samaritans.<\/p>\n

American college students are like American colleges - each has half-dulled faculties.<\/p>\n

Status Quo - Latin for \"The mess you're in!\"<\/p>\n

Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.<\/p>\n

In biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford; same as today.<\/p>\n

A scandal is a breeze stirred up by a couple of windbags.<\/p>\n

A pleasant evening can leave you wondering if you behaved yourself.<\/p>\n

An expert is a person who can take something you already know and make it sound confusing.<\/p>\n

Car sickness is what occurs when you see how much the new models are costing.<\/p>\n

Middle age is when you finally know your way around but don't feel like going.<\/p>\n

Prosperity is something that businessmen create for the polititians to take credit for.<\/p>\n

Diplomacy is doing and saying the nastiest things in the nicest way.<\/p>\n

A camper is a guy who pays a stiff fee for the same sort of uncomfortable accomodations he griped about in the army.<\/p>\n

Being fashionable is the art of lookin' as rediculous as everyone else.<\/p>\n

It's tough to explain counterclockwise to a person with a digital watch.<\/p>\n

A sergeant is a fellow who cusses you out after the army swears you in.<\/p>\n

The English language has far more lives than a cat. People have been slaughtering it for years.<\/p>\n

Mother Nature never intended for us to pat ourselves on the back. If she had, our hinges woud be different.<\/p>\n

Philosophy is a science that enables us to view misfortunes more calmly, thereby enabling us to be unhappy and miserable with the greatest degree of intelligence.<\/p>\n

He who kisses and tells is begging for competition.<\/p>\n

Anyone who thinks we don't have capital punishment in this country doesn't know how the IRS works.<\/p>\n

An employee who laughts at the boss' jokes doesn't necessarily have a sharp sense of humor - but he certainly has a keen sense of direction.<\/p>\n

Raising children is a matter of timing. Enjoy your kids while they're young and still on your side.<\/p>\n

Money will not help get friends, but it will help you get a higher grade of enemies.<\/p>\n

I like rich people. I like how they live. I like how I live when I'm with them.<\/p>\n

The longest word in the famous Oxford English Dictionary is Floccinaucinihilipilificication and it means the act or habit of estimating as worthless.<\/p>\n

Automobile: A vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.<\/p>\n

A politician leads an active life. When he isn't straddling an issue, he's dodging one.<\/p>\n

Children are natural mimicks. They act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners.<\/p>\n

Even if rock and roll died tomorrow, it would take 5 years for the sound to die away!<\/p>\n

You're living proof that Mother Nature has a sense of humor!<\/p>\n

The Golden Rule: He who owns the most gold makes the rules!<\/p>\n

Definition: GURU - Good Understanding but Relatively Useless.<\/p>\n

Examination of the word EXPERT: EX - A prefix denoting that which once was, but is no longer. SPURT - A drip at high speed.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<< Previous Volume\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>
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Life is instinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours. A stitch in time would have confused Einstein. Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal. The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed mostly of lost airline luggage. The length […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":6625,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6753","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6753"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6753\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6756,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6753\/revisions\/6756"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6625"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}