{"id":12420,"date":"2017-11-16T07:43:28","date_gmt":"2017-11-16T14:43:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/site\/?page_id=12420"},"modified":"2017-11-16T07:47:37","modified_gmt":"2017-11-16T14:47:37","slug":"computer-bytes-quotes","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/home-3\/quote-corner\/computer-bytes\/computer-bytes-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"Computer Bytes – Quotes"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Buy a Pentium 586\/90 so you can reboot faster.<\/p>\n

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.<\/p>\n

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.<\/p>\n

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.<\/p>\n

<-------- The information went data way --------><\/p>\n

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.<\/p>\n

Access denied---nah nah na nah nah!<\/p>\n

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...<\/p>\n

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.<\/p>\n

E Pluribus Modem<\/p>\n

...File not found. Should I fake it? (Y\/N)<\/p>\n

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny<\/p>\n

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.<\/p>\n

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.<\/p>\n

A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.<\/p>\n

11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.<\/p>\n

Windows: Just another pane in the glass.<\/p>\n

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?<\/p>\n

Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.<\/p>\n

RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.<\/p>\n

All computers wait at the same speed.<\/p>\n

DEFINITION: Computer---A device designed to speed and automate errors.<\/p>\n

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....<\/p>\n

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...<\/p>\n

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!<\/p>\n

E-mail returned to sender---insufficient voltage.<\/p>\n

Help! I'm modeming...and I can't hang up!!!<\/p>\n

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?<\/p>\n

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.<\/p>\n

\"640K ought to be enough for anybody.\" - Bill Gates, 1981<\/p>\n

Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!<\/p>\n

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...<\/p>\n

Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.<\/p>\n

Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_|\"<\/p>\n

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y\/N)<\/p>\n

Read my chips: No new upgrades!<\/p>\n

Hit any user to continue.<\/p>\n

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!<\/p>\n

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!<\/p>\n

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?<\/p>\n

Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.<\/p>\n

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup<\/p>\n

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic<\/p>\n

(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?<\/p>\n

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?<\/p>\n

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.<\/p>\n

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.<\/p>\n

Programmer: A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.<\/p>\n

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.<\/p>\n

XMODEM: A spot-marking transfer protocol.<\/p>\n

YTERM: A terminal program for queries.<\/p>\n

SQWERTY: Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.<\/p>\n

SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING.<\/p>\n

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.<\/p>\n

Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's bad...<\/p>\n

Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer.<\/p>\n

BATCH: A group, kinda like a herd.<\/p>\n

Computer hackers do it all night long.<\/p>\n

Computer modelers simulate it first.<\/p>\n

Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.<\/p>\n

Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.<\/p>\n

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

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Buy a Pentium 586\/90 so you can reboot faster. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. <——– The information went data way ——–> The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. Access […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":6646,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-12420","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12420"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12429,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12420\/revisions\/12429"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6646"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}