{"id":12303,"date":"2017-11-16T06:34:30","date_gmt":"2017-11-16T13:34:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/site\/?page_id=12303"},"modified":"2017-11-16T06:35:49","modified_gmt":"2017-11-16T13:35:49","slug":"tidbits-of-humor-volume-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/home-3\/quote-corner\/tidbits-of-humor\/tidbits-of-humor-volume-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Tidbits of Humor Volume 2"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..<\/p>\n

Why doesn't DOS ever say \"EXCELLENT command or filename!\"<\/p>\n

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.<\/p>\n

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep\/Nope)<\/p>\n

Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.<\/p>\n

E Pluribus Modem<\/p>\n

... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y\/N)<\/p>\n

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny<\/p>\n

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.<\/p>\n

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.<\/p>\n

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y\/n)?<\/p>\n

Does fuzzy logic tickle?<\/p>\n

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.<\/p>\n

11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.<\/p>\n

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?<\/p>\n

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.<\/p>\n

Windows: Just another pane in the glass.<\/p>\n

SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .<\/p>\n

Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?<\/p>\n

Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.<\/p>\n

RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.<\/p>\n

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...<\/p>\n

All computers wait at the same speed.<\/p>\n

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.<\/p>\n

Press {CTRL}-{ALT}-{DEL} to continue ...<\/p>\n

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....<\/p>\n

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...<\/p>\n

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!<\/p>\n

E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.<\/p>\n

Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!<\/p>\n

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?<\/p>\n

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.<\/p>\n

\"640K ought to be enough for anybody.\" - Bill Gates, 1981<\/p>\n

DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS<\/p>\n

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS<\/p>\n

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!<\/p>\n

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...<\/p>\n

Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.<\/p>\n

REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y\/N\/Q)<\/p>\n

Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~\"<\/p>\n

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y\/N)<\/p>\n

Read my chips: No new upgrades!<\/p>\n

Hit any user to continue.<\/p>\n

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!<\/p>\n

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!<\/p>\n

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?<\/p>\n

Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.<\/p>\n

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup<\/p>\n

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic<\/p>\n

(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?<\/p>\n

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?<\/p>\n

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.<\/p>\n

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.<\/p>\n

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.<\/p>\n

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<< Previous Volume\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!” As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep\/Nope) Backups? We don’ *NEED* no steenking backups. E Pluribus Modem … File not found. Should I fake it? (Y\/N) Ethernet (n): something used to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":6631,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-12303","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12303"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12303\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12309,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12303\/revisions\/12309"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}