{"id":12258,"date":"2017-11-16T05:53:48","date_gmt":"2017-11-16T12:53:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/site\/?page_id=12258"},"modified":"2017-11-16T06:42:21","modified_gmt":"2017-11-16T13:42:21","slug":"facebook-volume-8","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/home-3\/quote-corner\/facebook-humor\/facebook-volume-8\/","title":{"rendered":"Facebook Volume 8"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t

It's fine to eat a \"test grape\" from the produce section, but take one bite of a rotisserie chicken, and suddenly you have a personal escort out of the store.<\/p>\n

How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?<\/p>\n

Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.<\/p>\n

According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.<\/p>\n

I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.<\/p>\n

When someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, \"HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME.\"<\/p>\n

Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife\u2019s can shorten it.<\/p>\n

Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don't want to attract any attention.<\/p>\n

There needs to be more \u201cCrap! I missed my exit!\u201d exits\u2026<\/p>\n

I fear the day when our kids look at old YouTube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a strange generation ours was.<\/p>\n

Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn\u2019t see himself in a mirror.<\/p>\n

I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.<\/p>\n

Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?<\/p>\n

My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn\u2019t illegal to talk in the car while I\u2019m driving.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<< Previous Volume\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s fine to eat a “test grape” from the produce section, but take one bite of a rotisserie chicken, and suddenly you have a personal escort out of the store. How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results? Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":6652,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-12258","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12258"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12258\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12316,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12258\/revisions\/12316"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kirkhalliday.com\/kh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}